Monday, November 3, 2008

Mandatory sterilization for fuckers who keep reproducing on welfare

This was one of those direct requests I was talking about from Michelle D in Arizona.

Not only do I agree with the idea of mandatory spay and neutering of welfare recipients, but I also propose a mandatory breeding license in order to propogate the species.

Children are not a paycheck folks. Just because your government check is feeling a little light does not mean that your funky ass should go out and get knocked up to keep the WIC checks rolling. My idea is this, one child then get a job. Or if somebody is already a breadwinner in the family, i.e., not flipping burgers at the local scarf n barf, then one child and you don't have to get a job (for the ladies). If a proven track record has been shown that the aforementioned parents do possess the ability to pay bills and retain employment while not raising little satan worshipping assholes (children) then they will be granted clemency for one more child. And so this will be accounted for each year for a minimum of 8 years or until said female is 30 years old. Actuaries will agree that any individual that can maintain steady employment and pay debts on time during their early to mid 20's or is over 30 with no children can more than likely manage a family with more than two children.

So, if little miss "can't keep her legs shut" gets knocked up at eighteen and shows steady progress in maturing to the set standard then she will not be hounded by the government at or after age 26. At age 30 if she has had no children, yet has maintained these same standards than the clause of not raising an asshole is grandfathered into the equation for her.

I have not forgotten the males though. Every males DNA will be collected in a database for cross reference in the event paternity can not be proven. This will make males keep their dicks in their pants or at least use the necessary contraceptives. No male wants to find out he's a baby daddy, and end up paying child support. The same numerical standard applies to males as well. Which means, no making a bunch of kids you can't afford, dickhead.

If a married couple can show the ability to adhere to these standards, have zero to one child, and are over the age of 25 they need only have a 3 year waiting period until a breeders license will be granted, allowing them the ability to reproduce without fear of repurcussion.

If at any time either party can not hold to these standards, or reproduces beyond the allowable standard without a breeders license, penalties will be swift and severe, to include but not limited to:

1. Chastity Belts
2. Tube tying or Vasectomy
3. Hysterectomy or Castration
4. Public humiliation or Shock Therapy
5. Death


  1. AGREE WIT YOU 100% papa!! dont fuck around and thats the change we need man!!

  2. Michelle "the midget" DownieNovember 4, 2008 at 9:20 PM

    Well written, my friend. As your press secretary, I agree with this proposition 100%. Next, we need to look at proposition 501.

  3. The past 2 years we have been plagued with tv ads describing the losers that are running for elections in our governmental offices. We've heard that so-and-so is a complete loser while the other is even more of a loser. However, not once have we heard a candidate speak on issues of this caliber. I not only completely agree with AQ, I actually feel like he has the power to read my mind concerning this issue! No kids unless you can prove that you can support them without the aid of others fool...Aq for President in two zero one two!!!